No laughing matter

I am most comfortable speaking and typing (we hardly write anymore, I think it’s time the verb fell out of use) using the Queen’s tongue. Not literally of course, that would be gross. My lack of mastery over the language of my forefathers is a result of both not having the opportunity to learn/use it at school and having parents who were perfectly comfortable with a conversation where speakers carried on in different languages (Mallu by the parents and English by my brother and me) which made for very interesting phrasing amidst arguments but more of that some other time.

So English is my only effective literary weapon seeing as my Hindi is rusty, my French is blunt and my Malayalam is double edged (i.e. it would hurt me more than the other guy if I used it). Also for me to write a blog is to put my above mentioned wickd lit skyllz to the test. Any way the long and the short of it is I’ve often opinionated lazily, mostly to inanimate objects, that there’s really not that much to write about and who would read all these blogs anyway.

But given my appreciation for good humor which is evident from my super intelligent comments ranging from the simple LOL to the gut busting ROFLMAO when I started reading blogs like krishashok, indiauncut and others, I was of course inspired to start my own version of blather. At which point I encountered the challenge that makes most aspiring bloggers give up like the Indian team, despite the best efforts of Sachin. Namely, what do I write about? Still working on it.

However what I wanted to know after reading those blogs was how post after post these guys could carry on the banter. In short, not being content with getting my funny bone tickled, I wanted to learn how I could tickle other people’s ribs without becoming an orthopaedist or getting a restraining order.

Which led me, the thoroughly unfunny person that I am, to a whole host of wiki articles on humor that were more of the mind numbing variety than the type mentioned previously. Nevertheless I learnt completely useless things like how sarcasm was only one version of irony and that ‘polysemy’ was not a euphemism for a trailer park.

And with it the realization of what E.B White ( the author of Charlotte’s Web) said of efforts like mine. "Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it."

Ford! You're turning into a penguin! Stop it.

The complete radio series available here. Thanks to nondescriptnair for introducing me to the original series and my brother for finding the site.

The Doctor is in the House

The best show ever! I will not stoop to argue with you on this one, whatever pathetic little show you bring up as a counter. Curious to find who was behind all the acerbic wit that House spews forth show after show I stumbled upon this article.

However I was amused to read the part on page 3 where they talk about the 'consternation of die hard Wilson fans!' lmao. Wilson is portrayed as about the most pathetically nice and servile buddies you could have. I certainly wouldn't want to be such a doormat, as House calls him in the latest episode. And is it me or did you find Wilson's acting a little funny in that one, the whole of which was focused on him. That's not why I watch House, Writers, so definitely not the way to go.

Frutti di bosco

The rich tang of berry
Is not ordinary
The fruit pulp within
Truly makes your head spin


Its deep crimson hue
refreshes our lips anew
Each spoonful of ice cream
A heavenly dream

Rafaello and Tiramisu
Sorry but I won't miss you
Flavours are ad infinitum
but of this one I can't keep mum

I do not claim to be
a great or famous bard
but an ode to this dessert
even they would find hard

But the Gelatos before us
offer a divine chorus
From New York to Moscow
In the praise of Frutti di bosco

The Ski Trip

At some point during your stay in Europe you will begin to tire of churches, statues, bridges, monuments, ruins and the rest. Seeing is one thing but doing is much better. That is how the search for a different experience on the Eurotrip led us to the Ski town of Saas Fee in the Valais, home to some of the best all year ski slopes in Europe. Not for us the mundane train rides to the Jungfrau or the Titlis (where I am told the restaurants even have signs in Hindi). However not knowing the first thing about skiing this would be, in the words of the one and only Barney Stintson ‘legen… wait for it… dary!’.

Saas Fee turned out to be really beautiful and there was not an Indian or a non European in sight. Unique experience… CHECK.

What with all the ski schools closed the day we landed up there and the lady at the rental shop actually dissuading us from trying on our own (even though it’s bad for her business!), we almost gave up hope of being able to try the slope. But out of sheer bloody mindedness we decided to just shove caution out the back door and give it a shot. Apparently the beginner’s slopes would open only the next day or so we were told when we reached the counter for the ski pass. "Whatever..we're here so let’s try it out" said I. A slope called Morenia was recommended to be the easiest available place to try.

In retrospect, BAD decision. We could have easily ended up dead. On a slope gravity is your enemy and your friend. One wrong move and it’s ‘bye bye cruel world’. Climbing the ski lift we took silly photographs trying to get the pro skiing look. Even though I would give myself 10 points for style, it is saddening that I will do anything for a facebook picture.

Walking onto the slope we boldly plonked the skis down and strapped our boots in. This was going to be awesome. Then I started sliding backwards. Panicking I dug my ski sticks into the ice to no avail. Gathering speed I fell backwards under the wood platform outside the restaurant. Luckily for me it wasn't a full out drop or I wouldn't be writing this. An embarrassed smile and a cheery" I'm fine" was the best I could manage to reassure the worried faces looking down on me from the platform.

Falling isn't the hard part about learning to ski. Falling is easy and for me it was effortless. But as in life the hardest part is getting back up.

It was plenty of entertainment for a large group of snowboarders sitting outside the Morenia Restaurant. There was constant laughter whenever I managed to fall in a new and interesting way but also some cheers when I managed to stay up on the skis for a bit.

Finally when I decided to take a break and went in for a Coke, I wondered whether they could possibly offer me some advice. I sauntered over to them. "Could you tell me how to turn?" I inquired. Turns out they don't speak much English. "We are snowboarders, not skiers" one of them managed. "Never mind then" I said. "Where are you from?" One of them wanted to know. "India" I replied to much murmuring, "…and you are Germans, I think?". "Swiss Germans" he corrected. I detected the slightest hint of pride. "So… why are you here?" he asked half wonderingly and half sarcastically.

It irritated me a bit that he would consider it incredible for someone like me to be there on that slope with him. I really wanted to make him understand that in the future there would be many more Indians on the slopes as in every other field that we have excelled in.

I could have lectured him for hours on how India was an emerging economy with strong growth and a powerful democracy with a larger youth population than that of the whole of Switzerland and how we would, along with China, soon be one of the two largest economies in the world, but I didn't think it would have left any impression, given the little English that he understood. I had to convey it in much simpler terms.

"Why!?," I countered with false surprise," Why NOT?" as I picked up my gear for one more try on the slope.